"Spouse Activities"

I don't normally get on my soapbox, but I have a personal pet-peeve that's triggered by nit-picky things-- in this case one particular phrase that bothered me. I am sensitive to the implication that women can't, or won't, appreciate and/or understand gaming. Now, I will preface this with stating that these are my own opinions. Please take from this what you will, and know my intent is to express my own frustration at this perceived bias.

Today I downloaded the future events at GenCon 2014. I'm interested in attending this particular convention in Indianapolis, Indiana which claims to be the "original, longest-running, best-attended, gaming convention in the world". As I scrolled down on the downloaded Excel spreadsheet list of events searching for something related to painting, I came across a listing of Event Types called "Spouse Activities". It peaked my confused curiosity and when I dug deeper, I was bothered by what I found. 

From what I gathered, I can only assume that "Spouse Activities" are for non-gaming women brought along by their male gamer counterparts. Now I realize a spouse is a partner-- man, woman, whomever. However, when I thought, "No, surely they wouldn't be label 'Spouse Activities' as activities that are unrelated to gaming built to appeal mostly to women. That's insulting". As of Wednesday, June 11th, let me share with you the first several listings of GenCon's "Spouse Activities":

  1. Enroute Spa/Shala Wellness
  2. Intro to Yoga
  3. Yoga
  4. Pilates
  5. Zumba
  6. Intro to Neck and Shoulder Massage
  7. Intro to Raw Foods Living and Juicing
  8. Vision Board + Power of Intention
  9. Ballroom Dance for Beginners: Waltz
  10. Ballroom Dance for Beginners: Tango
  11. Ballroom Dance for Beginners: Peabody
  12. Ballroom Dance for Beginners: Swing
  13. Ballroom Dance for Beginners: Foxtrot
  14. Ballroom Dance for Beginners: Viennese Waltz

Now I understand that these classes are taught by knowledgeable and valuable teachers & professionals who are there to share their expertise. I do not look down on these classes or those who would and will enjoy them. However, I can't help but feel that there exists the implication that women married to convention-goers will need non-gaming events to attend since they can't bring themselves to enjoy the same activities of their partners for a short four-day period. Sure, people exist (not just women) who travel to conventions only to complain at their partners having fun and to them I say, "shame on you! If you're not going to at least try, don't go." 

Many spouses enjoy conventions together. Many spouses enjoy gaming together. I have attended a tabletop/miniature convention myself even though my husband was unable to attend. I enjoy gaming activities and I daresay I paint miniatures better than my husband, though he picks up new game concepts quicker than I do and he's a much better DM/Game Master than I could ever hope to be. He's also a fitness buff and would take a workout class during a Con as a break from classes & events "especially if the hotel gym sucked". That being said, I feel that  "Alternative Classes", "Specialty Activities" or even "Wellness Classes" would be more appropriate. 

I understand I may be the minority in this regard. However, I hope that moving forward, I can find examples that acknowledge and encourage the idea that many women are indeed gaming enthusiasts themselves-- without or without a spouse. We should not be relegated to attending "Spouse Activities". All activities at the convention are Spouse Activities. If you're attending with your spouse (or frankly, anyone, spouse or not), you should do your best to enjoy the experience and, at the very least, watch, learn, and take time to understand the hobby & community that identifies closely with someone you care about. Strike a compromise-- take a yoga class together in the morning and then go roll some dice in the evening tabletop event. After all, four days at a con go by fast and supporting your significant other in their pursuits is worth much more than you know! 

My Personal Painting Journey

This blog post has been a few weeks in the making. This topic is very personal to me, and I wasn't sure how (or if) I should even go about sharing it. Recently, I've put a lot of thought into how I approach painting and established some best practices to ensure I keep painting. Personally, I find it difficult to find time for my hobby as most people do. That's why it's a hobby and not a career. Balance is my biggest challenge.

I admit my work-life balance up until now has been crap. I was quick to take on new projects & challenges with a "Sure, I can do that!", worked through most weekends, didn't complain, and projected positivity even when I felt anything but positive-- all in the name of career development. Fast forward two years and the potential promotion that I was focused on earning was suddenly dissolved and a good portion of the responsibilities were added to my already-ambitious workload. I blamed myself. After a week or two of angry self-pity and resentment, I woke up and changed my outlook. I started working on my "creative self" and signed up for a miniature painting convention, the first thing I've truly done for myself in the last four years. It totally changed my perspective. Looking back, that frustrating wake-up call ended up being a blessing in disguise.

After a few wonderful days of vacation at ReaperCon 2014 doing the thing I loved but hadn't made time for in the past year, I knew I couldn't happily function in my previous mindset. I truly realized the value of not confusing one's professional worth with personal worth. The rabid, over-achieving-blind-ambition part of me died and was replaced with a love for patience within my craft. That's why I started this blog. This blog is a way for me to refocus and channel my creative energy and hold myself accountable for respecting my time & personal happiness. If I'm not protecting myself from the pressures & expectations of life, who will?

Everyone approaches their craft differently. Some make time when they can, others (like me) have to schedule it in. I like structure so I post blogs every Monday & Thursday. I'm active within a miniature painting forum and I post Works In Progress at least three times a week. I have learned so much from that particular community already and I've found their encouragement very motivating.

When I approach painting, I choose to develop one technique at a time. I remind myself that I'm trying to become more familiar with developing certain painting skills and I don't want to set myself up for failure by expecting too much of myself. Don't get me wrong, my expectations of myself are very high, though I'm able to feel rewarded when I succeed in meeting them. While a beginning painter may feel ambitious & think, "I'm going to tackle painting non-metallic metals, expressive eyes, and perfect my blending on this next mini!", being overly zealous doesn't necessarily equal success. 

Currently, when I select a miniature to paint, I find minis that may be a bit banged up, have a few pieces missing, or the ones that would otherwise never see the light of day. If they start flawed, I won't expect perfection in the end. It sounds silly, but it's how I keep my perfectionism in check. After that, I'll choose sculpts that have the elements I'm looking for-- for example, I'll choose a miniature with a flowing robe if I'm practicing shading and highlights on cloth folds. If I'm looking to practice Non-Metallic Metals, I'll choose a miniature with heavy armor. I never paint a miniature I don't like. I learned that lesson the hard way and it's part of the issues I addressed in my "How Not To Paint" blog post.

When I paint, I listen to audio books or music that I enjoy. I set myself up with proper lighting and I find "the zone" where creativity and patience flow freely. I give myself time; I acknowledge my current level of skill. I tell myself I'm practicing the painting techniques-- not perfecting them. This frees me from the frustration I used to experience when I was painting under a time crunch and expecting close-to-perfect results when I hadn't painted in months. I make sure I paint almost every day. One hour. I switch between a few miniatures, though I choose to focus on one at a time and give myself a deadline-- that's where the forums are particularly helpful. Knowing there's a community that says they're looking forward to seeing what I create next makes my I-want-to-please-everyone-nature work for me, not against me.

All in all, find out what works for you. I found out what I didn't like and knowing myself well helped me use my quirks to my advantage. Without the structure I've established, I know I wouldn't be growing my love and abilities for this hobby. One day, maybe it'll be more than just a hobby. Until then, I'll enjoy every pre-planned minute of it! 

Tabletop = Mind. Blown.

Evidently, I've been living under a rock. While I've thrown myself into work for the past 2+ years after being given a nice-yet-time-consuming promotion, I awoke from my stupor at ReaperCon 2014 and made a concerted effort to get back to my geeky roots-- mainly, tabletop gaming & my love of the miniature painting hobby which I picked up in 2011. 

Enter Tabletop. While I have wholly ignored Twitter during the under-a-rock span, I re-entered the Twittersphere and discovered an article I found about the über-successful crowd-sourcing venture that set a new record for web series funding: over a million dollars to fund the third season of "Tabletop". In case you haven't heard of it (like if you just came out of a coma), Tabletop is a web series created by Wil Wheaton & Felicia Day where they invite guests (usually high-profile YouTubers, bloggers, celebrities, and big wigs within the gaming industry) to play various tabletop board games. Once discovered, I watched for 4 hours straight before I realized I should probably tear myself away to do something else... like eat. So we ordered in Chinese food, popped open a bottle of wine and watched some more. 

Growing up, my family had "Game Nights". My family's game nights were rowdy, neighbors-might-call-the-police events where we'd laugh & shout over one another and stay up until 2am. Even now, many years later when we get together during holidays, it's the same-- with the added benefit of exposing my husband to our unique brand of crazy. He fits right in. My husband on the other hand, didn't grow up with family game nights, but played role-playing tabletop games, mainly D&D, with his friends for years. (He's actually the reason I got into miniature painting!) After watching the first season of Tabletop, we wanted to go out and buy our favorite board games from the show and make some friends with no existing social life just so we could play all day.

I want to bring back "Game Night". In fact, that's probably the strongest argument for having kids so far (long story short, children kind of frighten me). If you have kids, they're obligated to play goofy board games with you. Kids are the best way to mask acting like one yourself. People no longer think you're weird & immature for watching Pokemon Black & White, now they just think you're great parents for watching it with your kids. And if anyone asks why you play so many games you can blame it on the kids too. "Hey Tommy, you're getting Super Dungeon Explore for your birthday [because Mommy wants to play it]. Isn't that great?" Meanwhile, the kids grow up thinking you're the best. Love it. 

On that note, here's what I've got so far on the gargoyle. He's almost done!